As a dog breeder, you wear a million hats. Add in all the things outside of dog breeding that you need to take care of each day, and it can feel like you’re fighting a no-win battle with your to-do list. That’s why I pulled together amazing Time Management experts to help you discover new ways to move through each day, taking care of what needs to be done, and going to bed with a sense of accomplishment. We’ve also included resources designed specifically for dog breeders – because we know that the challenges you face are often unique – and so are the resources to help you manage them!
NJ Shelsby is a business coach and she is a master of efficiency. She loves to strike the balance between enjoying life and having a successful business. As a business coach she helps people regain their time, while tackling what they need to do. NJ challenged me to think differently about my processes and her advice propelled me into a much more efficient end of 2024. You’ll love her tips and tricks and I bet you could implement a few today!
This conversation with NJ Shelsby is just the start to a deep dive Julie & NJ took into time management and how to hire ChatGPT as your personal assistant, which is available as a MasterClass inside the Dog Breeder Society.
Podcast Transcript
Julie Swan | 0:24
You guys are in for a treat today. Today we have N.J. Shelsby of NeuroProductivity Inc. And N.J., thank you so much for coming on. You are just a gem. You have pushed me beyond my original thinking limits in the last few weeks, and I’m just loving what I’m getting out of it. But anyway, can you tell us a little bit about what you do, how you help people, and your goals with your business?
NJ Shelsby | 0:47
Yeah, sure. I’m very happy to talk with you today. So basically, I just help people who are ambitious and have really big goals, but they struggle to find the time because their day-to-day tasks just eat their days up.
And so I help them find the time to work on those big goals without having to sacrifice the work that’s currently paying the bills, or spending time with their kids and other family members.
Julie Swan | 1:15
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I know. Sometimes I swear my kids look at me like, hey, dinner. Were you ever going to make that?
NJ Shelsby | 1:22
Right. And I have to say, my son is 35, and of all the things in my life that I have done, the one regret I have is that when he was younger, that there was a time that I was working long hours. And if I could take back and redo anything, it would be to be more present with him, because the reality is, time that it takes to do a task, expands to fill the time you have available.
And so we can get the work done that needs to get done and run a successful business, without having to take away those precious moments that we will never get back from our kids, with our kids.
Julie Swan | 2:13
Oh, it’s so true. And I think with women running their own businesses, which of course dog breeders are always the higher percentage of women, we do, we feel so pulled, and then we’re living it in our homes. And so what do you think, where does it start? Where does it get off track? Because we have all these great intentions.
NJ Shelsby | 2:34
Yeah, well, a couple of things. Women’s brains are different than men’s. Men, their brains, they work in little boxes.
This guy explained it. There’s a great video on YouTube, men’s brains in boxes. And he talks about how men go into this box, and that’s what they’re doing.
And that’s all they’re thinking about. And they can’t think about something in one of those other boxes. And so they’re able to focus and do one thing.
Women’s brains aren’t like that. Because if it were, back when we were, you know, cavemen type people, our kids would be dying, right? But we have the ability to keep track of six kids running around, and keeping any of them from running off the edge of the cliff, while we’re picking berries and all that other stuff.
So that’s the way our brains are wired. And what that means today, is that you’re thinking of one thing, oh, let me, you know, write the copy for this, you know, web page idea that I have. And then, oh, I have to remember to write finish writing that email to so and so and oh, I need to put in a load of laundry.
Oh, I need. So because our brains naturally jump around, it’s very easy for us to interrupt ourselves to keep adding more on because we’re thinking of other things that have to get done. So that’s one of the problems just biologically how we’re wired.
The second thing is, you know, we’re in the end of 2024. And just modern times with technology, there is so many more possible things for you to do. And all of these things interrupting you.
So it’s like we’re set up modern work is just set up to be distracting. And when you are distracted like that, it can eat up 60% of your day. When you’re jumping from thing to thing, you know, how often do you check your email, and again, you’re looking for something important, right, like maybe a new client, you know, someone who’s interested in a puppy or something.
But then you see this email, that’s Oh, that’s curious. I wonder what that is. Next thing you know, you’re clicking on this link in there, because they hooked into your brainstem, made you think, Oh, I’ve got to know the answer to this.
And an hour later, you find yourself down this digital rabbit hole, you don’t even remember what you started on. And so that is a very real problem, that if you are working on a computer to do your job, it is a very real problem that if you don’t put boundaries in place, people are just going to steal hours out of your day.
Julie Swan | 5:30
Yeah. And when you say boundaries, what are some examples of what you’re thinking of?
NJ Shelsby | 5:36
Pop up blockers. That’s one. When I go into Facebook, my feed is blocked.
And it’s just kind of blank so that I can go in there and write a post that I’m going to post. I’m same thing with Facebook, all of the suggested videos and stuff like that. Oh, I love YouTube.
And I use it to learn how to do all kinds of things. But they’re really good. Like I’ll go in for one topic, and then they’ll suggest videos for something else that I got to know too.
Right. So I block those from coming up. So it’s called newsfeed eradicator.
It’s a plugin. I use it on the Chrome browser. And it makes it so that that stuff doesn’t come up.
Now, that’s I use that on my, like I said, my Chrome browser on the phone. But if you’re in the actual apps on your phone, it’s not gonna, you know, that doesn’t work.
Julie Swan | 6:43
Right? Why would they ever let you do that?
NJ Shelsby | 6:45
Right. Those are some examples of ways that you can put boundaries in place.
Julie Swan | 6:49
That makes sense. Yeah. And I know just living on do not disturb, having it scheduled every day at certain times has been a lifesaver for me.
Yes.
NJ Shelsby | 6:58
Whether you have an iPhone, or, you know, a Google and Android, there are now much more sophisticated ways to block things. I even saw on, I was Instagram the other day, a setting that you can just kind of limit how much you’re on Instagram that’s built within the app. So I think all the software is kind of finding ways to give us what we’re looking for.
We want to use the technology, but we don’t want it to take over our lives, and steal away time that’s much more important, that we should be doing things that are much more important.
Julie Swan | 7:42
Oh, absolutely. Because we’ve all been there where we’re flipping through the videos and all of a sudden an hour passes and we’re like, ugh.
NJ Shelsby | 7:43
Now you have to understand the reason that is, it’s not because you’re stupid, weak, whatever. It’s because these companies are hiring programmers who are studying neuroscience, and they are purposely tapping into your brainstem and getting your brain to do what they want you to do. It’s all programmed.
And so you just have to be on guard for that. And put in, you know, if you’re going down some, you know, if you’re like, kind of, okay, I’m going in now to be looking for something, have a timer set, so that it’s not an hour later. But you know, okay, I’m going to do 20 minutes of research to find the answer to something, have a timer so that you just don’t find yourself losing extra time.
Julie Swan | 8:41
That makes so much sense. That makes so much sense. What about with women to, having it that we have this, oh, I need to do that. Because I’m. I was in the middle of writing an episode the other day. And I was like, Oh, I’ve got to put the laundry in.
And then I started to start dinner. And I never got back to my episode. So how do we deal with that even not technical stuff?
NJ Shelsby | 8:59
Yes. Okay. So first of all, I think laundry is a great thing as a planned break, right?
When you’re scattered, and like, Oh, I have to do this, and I have to do this, we feel frazzled, and we’re going to forget things. But instead, there’s, you know, this thing called the Pommodoro technique, where you work in time segments, and then you take a break, and you’re much more efficient that way. So if you haven’t planned out, again, you can’t just be bouncing around, like our brain is not efficient and effective at off the cuff, figuring out what to do, right, you have to have it written down and have a plan.
And then you strategically use things like making dinner and doing the laundry as planned breaks that are away from the computer.
Julie Swan | 9:59
Okay.
NJ Shelsby | 10:00
So and dinner, again, you want to have it planned out, right? So that you have one day of the week, you make a plan. I like to do prep work.
So one of the things for like, easy dinners, we would have different vegetables. And we would roast them and then throw some caramelized shallots on it, right? Very simple, kicks it up, elevates it, we could even serve it to company.
And they’re like, Oh, this is so good. But we would on like Sunday, we would spend time chopping them up and sauteing them so that they’re in the fridge, and they’re ready, and you just take some and sprinkle them on at the end. So doing things like that, where you’re batch working, or like we marinate a bunch of chicken breasts, we’ll make up like three different marinades buy big packs of chicken breasts, put them in bags with the marinade.
And we vacuum seal, some people just use like a Ziploc bag, freezer bag, and put them in the freezer. And it’s like so easy, you don’t have to do this elaborate dinner all the time. But you just pull a bag of chicken out, it thaws, it’s already flavorful and delicious.
And all you got to do is grill it, bake it, however you choose to cook it. So just putting in a little bit of time. So that dinner’s not this, you know, Oh, my God, I don’t know what to do.
Julie Swan | 11:33
Yeah, exactly. It is really interesting. I noticed that when I meal plan, it’s so easy to go grocery shopping.
And then it’s so easy. It’s not stressful. When I’m at lunch, I can just, I can pull whatever I need out of the freezer, and it’ll be ready.
Because I know what I’m going to use.
NJ Shelsby | 11:49
Yeah, yeah. We made up like four or five, I can’t remember how many, meatloaves froze them, cut them up, and then froze them. And it’s like, we just pull meatloaf out of the freezer, thaw it, heat it up.
And boom, delicious, you know, component of dinner.
Julie Swan | 12:13
Oh, that sounds so good. Yes.
NJ Shelsby | 12:18
So, really, it’s just about understanding what your value system is for dinner, right? Like we tend to eat, you know, clean, more home cooked, less processed foods.
I have a lot of food allergies and stuff. And then just creating some kind of a plan, you know, do you eat out like some, some people I know, they’re like, okay, we’ve got soccer on Thursdays. And so we grab a pizza or something, you know, but just kind of planning it out.
And then, okay, how many nights am I going to make a full dinner from scratch? You know, how many nights am I going to pull something out of the freezer and just create a plan. And that makes everything easier.
Julie Swan | 13:05
I love that. Yeah, I think even for breeders that are looking at their whelping, we’re not sure what day our moms are going to go. But we know if we’re in the middle of that and dinner, kids are still going to need to get fed.
So if we could have something we can just pull out and throw in the oven or whatever, that’d be so nice.
NJ Shelsby | 13:19
Right. Yeah. I mean, I know people who they make up lasagnas and then have them in the freezer.
Julie Swan | 13:27
Yeah, perfect. It’s so easy. So I think, so maybe what you’re also pointing out is that because we women tend to feel the responsibility of the household and the children and occasionally the husband and his needs and then our job.
NJ Shelsby | 13:41
And your parents.
Julie Swan | 13:42
Right, exactly. And parents.
Yes. So all of this together, and we’re managing our buyers, they’re calling us with questions and our dogs and all these things. So really almost getting the things we have to do, kind of brain dead habits.
Let’s make it as simple as possible. And that becomes kind of the low hanging fruit. That’s the easy thing to jump into.
Meal planning is very easy, right? You can pull up meal plans online for days. So we get that taken care of, get the grocery shopping done.
Now our whole week dinner is not stressful.
NJ Shelsby | 14:11
Grocery shopping. I very, very rarely go into a grocery store. I use Instacart.
You know, it’s so funny that during the pandemic people used it. I was using it for years before that. I have an order from Costco just about every week. And we have a local kind of healthy grocery store here.
I get a delivery from them every week. And then once like once a month or something, I’ll get something from like a regular grocery store. That’s things like, you know, aluminum foil and you know, wax paper, those types of things that I just can’t find at this health food grocery store.
But when I look, the cost to do that, versus my time and peace of mind, it’s amazing. Now, it’s not perfect, they mess things up. But the thing is, when they mess something up, all I do is report it, and then I get that item for free.
So like, you know, for Thanksgiving, I was ordering groceries, and I ordered a bag of ruffles that my husband likes to eat with his sandwich. And they were out or something, and they got me the cheddar ruffles. My husband does not eat those, right?
And I just bad substitution. But like, well, here you go, they just refunded me the difference, or refunded me the price. And so I got this free bag of chips that I then took over to Thanksgiving dinner, like I still used them, but I got it for free.
So it kind of takes the sting out of the fact that that wasn’t as good as what I would have chosen myself.
Julie Swan | 15:57
Yeah, absolutely. And I, our grocery store, it’s free to just go there and have them bring it out to your car. And so even if you can just pick up or schedule it right after the kids are done with their events.
I’ve done that a few times. And you can have pre made lists, you’re just like, order this one.
NJ Shelsby | 16:12
Yes. And then you’re not impulse buying. So you save money.
Julie Swan | 16:16
Essentially, yes.
NJ Shelsby | 16:28
I just not going into Costco, like we easily spend an extra $100, $150, if I walk into Costco. So Oh, it costs me $10 or something for them to deliver it. Please, like.
Julie Swan | 16:37
So true. My son actually the other day, he got me to buy him hot chocolate, this other variety of chips, I probably spent extra 20 bucks on him. Just because he went with me.
NJ Shelsby | 16:48
Which if instead, if you had planed, placed the order online, and then just had them put it in the car, you would have saved $20.
Julie Swan | 17:03
Exactly, exactly. So yeah, and my son would not have been mad because he wouldn’t have known.
NJ Shelsby | 17:03
Right?
Julie Swan | 17:04
Yes. So that’s perfect. Yeah.
So I love this. So we get our stuff done. Keep life at home organized, as systemized as possible.
I’m a big fan of like a two week meal plan that maybe you change seasonally, like a winter one, spring, summer. And then it’s just easy. Every Tuesday is this.
And that’s, that’s such a huge saver. And then I got the kids to do their own laundry. They don’t always match their clothes.
And sometimes our socks are dirty. But all in all, it’s adequate.
NJ Shelsby | 17:35
Yeah, I mean, I can remember my son at 10 was washing his own laundry.
Julie Swan | 17:43
Yes, exactly.
NJ Shelsby | 17:45
Yeah, like why, you know, why am I doing his laundry like at five? Actually, he was younger than five. He was like, four, he was doing his own breakfast and he would cook the like the toaster waffles and stuff.
And I would take the Cheerios and just put them in a container that was easier for his hands to manage, you know, and have like little plastic bowls and the Cheerios down below, and had milk again in smaller, so he’s not handling a gallon of milk.
Julie Swan | 18:20
That’s easy, though. Like those are easy things to prep, right? And then the kids can just grab them.
It’s so nice. I love that.
NJ Shelsby | 18:28
Yeah. One thing, a comment that I can make in regard to the kids. So finding that balance, because it’s good to teach kids to be independent and make their own breakfast. But we want to make sure that they don’t feel totally ignored and neglected.
And one of the areas that I see parents really messing up, because our brain tricks us. And that is saying, you know, they’re like, I’m working, give me five minutes, and then five minutes passes, and they come back. I’m, you know, just not yet, not yet, you know.
And that really makes their brain trick them into thinking that they’re not important to us. And so I highly recommend that you be a bit more structured, and saying things like, okay, you eat breakfast, and then you can watch such and such show. And then at, you know, 10am, you know, at this time, depending upon the age, you have to figure out a way to communicate it to them, you know, then I’m gonna, you know, be done, and I’m gonna do this. And then spend, you know, 45 minutes, an hour, whatever, interacting with them one on one. And then go back to work, where our brains trick us into thinking that we just have to get this finished, we can’t walk away. And the more you can have clear boundaries, and say, now I’m with my kid, put that away, they feel you’re 100% present with them, then they’re able to like, well, okay, my cup is filled up now, now you can go back and work, and I’ll go play with something. And then you go back in and focus in with work.
And doing that very clear periods of focusing on kids focusing on work, you can get more done than if you instead, were just trying to work, and then go away, come back later, wait, mommy’s working, like, you’re not going to get anything done, because they’re going to keep interrupting you. And your brain is just, you know, has to restart every time they interrupt you. So you’re not getting it done.
They’re feeling neglected, where if instead, you gave them all of your focus and energy, you’re going to get more work done in those periods where you’re 100% focused on work.
Julie Swan | 21:05
Yeah, I love that. And you don’t feel guilty. I think that’s another thing.
Because sometimes, you’ll be going back to work, and then you’d be like, ugh, I’m a terrible mom, you know.
NJ Shelsby | 21:15
Yes. Here’s the thing, as a mom, who’s on the other side, that is the most important thing. You know, you won’t remember how much money you made, you won’t remember how clean or dirty your house was, or whatever. But that, you know, I can remember, I was in the corporate world.
And coming home from work, it was like, 11 o’clock at night, my son was asleep. Now, I had been a stay-at-home mom when he was little. And I came home, and there was a note on the table from my son, he was about 11.
Mom, how come I barely ever see you anymore? Now, that was 20 plus years ago. And it’s still like closer to 25 years ago, like it like still like shatters my heart.
So I don’t think we ever get over that. So you know, make sure that you are spending enough time with them that you feel good about it.
Julie Swan | 22:19
Yeah, that’s such good advice, too. It’s so true. And I’ve noticed that when you give them that dedicated time to them, because their cup feels full, as you said, they feel empowered to be more independent and to take on more. And they actually will bug you less, because they don’t feel like they have to get you to give them attention.
NJ Shelsby | 22:37
Right, right. It’s like, they have this thing going on, that they’re like, I need to feel loved, right? I need her attention to feel loved.
And they have no way of just putting that aside. And saying, you know, Oh, okay, she’ll give me that later. And so they keep feeling that, like emptiness, and they keep coming back.
And they’re not going to stop until you give them 100% of your attention and fill that cup up for them.
Julie Swan | 23:19
Yeah, exactly. And I think it’s smart, probably to schedule that in, like you said, just schedule it in like a break time or lunchtime.
NJ Shelsby | 23:27
Yeah, kids are predictable. Remember when your kids started kindergarten, you know, you have this kid who’s like, Oh, they like, you know, throw their clothes on the floor or whatever. And you go into the classroom, that first time, and you’re like, Wait, you get my kids to do what, you know, and they have all of this structure in the room, and the kids, they come in, and they put their coat on there. And they put this in that cubby and everything back in, you know, because kids are adaptable.
And as long as you clearly express the expectation, they love that structure. And they will put things where you tell them to do it, they’ll do whatever you want them to do. But we have to be clear on the expectation.
Julie Swan | 24:18
That’s so true. I know, we just put a whiteboard up recently with chores, and they don’t get screen time until they get their chores done. And it’s been great.
My son’s been vacuuming couches at 10am, getting it done so we can get on his computer.
NJ Shelsby | 24:33
Exactly.
Julie Swan | 24:34
Yeah, we do homeschool. So they’re here all the time. But yes, I know what you mean.
So that’s fantastic. So okay, so we’ve got we clean up at home, we get our habits in order life in order, make time for the kids for family. And then we have work stuff.
And so how do we start? What are some tips for managing the work?
Get the MasterClass for more with NJ Shelsby on Time Management for Dog Breeders.
NJ Shelsby | 24:55
So first of all, we have a tendency as women to like, try to do it all. And I would recommend you take a really close look at that. The Pareto principle, you can get 80% of the results doing 20% of the activities. And so to really get clear, and make sure that you know the most effective things to be working on.
You know, does Instagram work for you? Do you like Instagram? If the answer to either one of those questions is no, don’t be spending any time there.
Don’t try to be on all the social media, pick one that you like, that feels good, that you think your clients are going to be at. And that’s what you focus on. Once it’s so like second nature that you’re not even thinking about it. Well, then you can probably outsource that to somebody and then do another one and add another one in but don’t try to do it all.
That would be my second piece of advice, just being really clear. What are the things that move the needle?
Julie Swan | 26:12
That makes sense. And so when you’re evaluating that should we be looking at our previous maybe quarter and see what had been converting or maybe for us puppy sales?
Where did our leads come in?
NJ Shelsby | 26:23
Exactly.
Julie Swan | 26:24
Yeah, I think that makes sense.
So we go through evaluate and I love what you’re saying to be when it becomes second nature, right? And so that’s how we have a plan, a system. And that’s when it’s outsourcable.
NJ Shelsby | 26:36
Right. Another piece of it is that having a plan, we cannot work efficiently off the top of our heads.
Now, I consider myself an efficiency expert. It is in my blood in my bones. I can remember back in the corporate world, that if I had to go to the bathroom, I would take stuff with me and drop this off, drop that, like I’d have this whole plan, I’m just gonna walk all the way down there for nothing, right?
That’s how my brain thinks. And yet I notice if I am just responding as things come into my head as to what I have to do, it is very inefficient, I do not get as much done. But if I create a plan, where first, you just brainstorm, like, get it all out of your head, here’s all the things that I have to do and everything that comes to mind.
And once you have it all down, then you can evaluate it. Like, is this really going to move me forward in my business? Is this something?
Why am I doing this? You know, is it because I think, oh, I should be on LinkedIn, or you know, whatever the equivalent of that is? Or do you have some evidence?
I’ve been getting leads there? You know, or is it you know, I just feel like someone you know, Mary Sue over there, she’s doing that. So therefore, I have to do it in my business.
Just get through why it’s on your list? What would happen if you just cross it off? What would you lose?
Julie Swan | 28:32
Right.
NJ Shelsby | 28:33
And then of the stuff that’s left, make plan.
When does this really need to get done? Does it need to get done after the first of the year? Well, write January next to it.
Does it have to get done this week? Write down this week, next week, write down next week. Okay, so it’s got to be done this week.
What can be done tomorrow? What’s going to be done today? And then you get down to here are the things that have to get done today.
And then you split them down. Split that up and you have Okay, here are the things that have to be done while I’m doing errands, or in the afternoon. These are the deep focus tasks, put those together. And that’s what I’m going to do when the kids are napping or they’re at school and I need to really focus.
It’s so easy for us to get caught up in this. We’ve got this precious time the kids are napping or at school. And we’re checking email, we’re doing some other BS tasks that aren’t moving the needle, but we have to be crystal clear.
Here are the tasks that move the needle, and our brain be settled down that it knows the other things are handled because there’s a plan for it. Otherwise, your brain won’t let you focus on that important task, because it’s afraid that you’re going to miss something. And so it keeps reminding you, don’t forget, you have to answer that email.
Don’t forget, you have to do this. Don’t forget, you have to do that. And we generally are like, okay, I’m going to stop doing that.
And now I’m going to jump over here and do this. And we bounce back and forth like that, not completing anything. And that’s where at the end of the day, you’re like, I’ve been working hard all day, but I got nothing done.
And that’s why.
Julie Swan | 30:21
Yeah, and we’ve all been there. I could totally relate to that. Do you keep a single list that has the categories of things, or are you managing that and just keep updating it, or how do you manage those tasks?
NJ Shelsby | 30:35
How I do it is I have a capture mechanism, that you know I have a task list in Notion that I use and two ways. I either have the Amazon echo with my voice. I’ll tell her to add something, and it’ll go in there, or I’ll go ahead and add it in just to get it out of my mind.
And then from in there, I process them and put them into the categories and stuff like that. And then I just have a plan for the day, you know, each day at the end of the day. I’ll just make a plan for the next day and I have, you know, here’s the focus tasks and then what I call afternoon tasks.
Those are the things that after deep focus time that it’s the smaller insignificant things.
Julie Swan | 31:28
Yeah, that makes sense things that you don’t need to use so much brainpower for. I noticed too that I like I keep a notebook next to me when I’m writing on my computer, because I will have all these stupid things come in my head, and I found that if I just write it down it stops yelling at me and I can focus again.
NJ Shelsby | 31:46
Right? That’s awesome. That’s exactly what you want to do.
But just make sure that you evaluate, because we as entrepreneurs we’re idea people, and we will have more ideas than we could ever accomplish if we live to be 300 years old. And so you just want to capture it and then at some later time really evaluate. Is this really a good use of my time?
What am I going to get out of it versus the input of the time?
Julie Swan | 32:21
Right? Exactly. No, that makes so much sense.
And I do notice that sometimes you’ll make a list on there and it’s like, you know, buy gum at the store, and then the next thing is like write a podcast. And the two of them look like they’re weighted the same. They’re two items, but they’re not.
NJ Shelsby | 32:40
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
Julie Swan | 32:42
Yeah. So I do love that.
That’s perfect. Okay. So ultimately, though, it comes down to we get to this place where we do all these things.
We’re trying to plan but we end up procrastinating and you had such a great explanation for me on procrastination. What’s happening there? We all do it.
But what why?
NJ Shelsby | 33:03
Yeah. So I see three things going on as to why people are procrastinating over and over again. And so one is they don’t want to do it. And there’s some discomfort there.
Maybe it’s the wrong task for them.
Julie Swan | 33:28
Building a website. I hear that.
I don’t want to build it.
NJ Shelsby | 33:32
Well, why? You know, you probably don’t want to, if you wanted to build a website, you’d have a business building websites. Right.
And so it makes perfect sense to outsource that, and you can outsource things without it costing $1,500. You know, you can probably get somebody in Nigeria to build you one for like $50 or something and feed them for a month. And so you’re contributing.
So again, first thing I see is they’re trying to force themselves to do something that they don’t want to do. And so you just have to really dig in there. What’s the worst thing that would happen if I did this?
So if let’s say you’re not posting about your puppies, it could be you’re afraid that you know, your family is going to be like, you know, whatever story you make up in your head, as though what’s going to happen if you do that task? Yeah, just get to the bottom of why you don’t want to do the task. So that’s number one.
The second one is not really understanding what we’re doing, what the outcome is. And so you’re trying to do something new. But you really don’t know, let’s say you’re perfectly good at, and you’re fine with, building a website, building your website.
But if you haven’t taken the time to get clear on what you want on the website. You can’t really move forward, and your mind just keeps jumping over it, you know, it’s on the list and you see, build a website, but it can’t move forward because it’s this gray area, like it doesn’t know what success looks like. So therefore, it’s not going to invest any time in that.
Julie Swan | 35:37
That makes sense.
NJ Shelsby | 35:38
So that’s the second thing. And so in order to get that, you just want to put aside, you know, make the first step of any new thing brainstorming. And that’s where you’re setting time to actually get clear on what the plan is, what success looks like what you’re trying to accomplish.
So the third thing, it’s to the second one, but it’s kind of the next step down the line that people run into, they may understand what success looks like what the outcome looks like. But what they’re doing is they’re treating a project as a task. So they’ll have the project listed on their task list, for example, building a website.
Now, a task is a one off thing that you can do. One specific thing, that if you described it to somebody, they would know exactly what it looks like and what success means.
Julie Swan | 36:44
Like building the contact page, right? Like it’s a done, right? To me, that’s the simplest page of a website, because it’s just like a form, your name, contact me.
NJ Shelsby | 36:58
Right, but even that may not even be the task, because, where’s the contact information going?
Julie Swan | 37:07
Yeah.
NJ Shelsby | 37:07
And so maybe step one is deciding, if you don’t already have it, how you’re going to connect what they enter in the contact page to get it into your system. You know, so it’s really about treating these things as a project and breaking it down. Here’s all the things that have to be done, the decisions that have to be made.
And making sure that what is on your task list to do, is a small step task, that is so crystal clear that if you explained it to somebody, they would know exactly what to do. And so building your contact us page, you couldn’t tell a web designer, build my contact us page. And they couldn’t do it.
Right. So maybe you need to find the photo to go on your contact page. Maybe you need to, you know, find a quote that goes on there, you know, and as I said before, about connecting things up.
So breaking it down and making sure you’re clear on what the tasks are that are involved and keep breaking it down until there’s not an unknown and it’s crystal clear exactly what the next step is. And then it’s easy when you take “make contact page” and instead, you know, you break it down smaller and smaller, then it’s easy to take action.
Julie Swan | 38:56
And it would be very easy to get up in the morning and just go do those things. Right.
NJ Shelsby | 38:59
Right, yes, exactly. Yeah. Yes.
And when you don’t know what to do, there’s this, it can be very hard to get started, you know, as entrepreneurs, we’re like, we’re always stepping out into, you know, new territory. And AI can be very effective at helping you brainstorm and figure out, you know, go into ChatGPT and saying, I’m, you know, trying to do X, Y, Z, what are the considerations that I need to think about? What are the questions I should be asking? And it will act as your brainstorming partner and tell you what your considerations are, what decisions you need to make.
Julie Swan | 39:48
Absolutely. Yeah. It was really nice for breaking down things. We were looking at a construction contract for my husband the other day, and we’re like, what else do we need to make sure we address, you know, and it gave us some good ideas. Yeah.
Yeah. That’s wonderful. All right.
So that’s pretty much it. So we, you want to summarize those one more time. So we have the three points are.
NJ Shelsby | 40:12
Yeah. The first one is that you’re trying to do something that you really don’t want to do. And so just take a little bit of time and dig into that why you don’t want to do it what will be the worst thing that would happen if you did it, or, you know, try to figure out why you don’t want to do it.
What is that discomfort there? And maybe you can outsource it. The second thing is about being crystal clear on what success looks like, what is the outcome, know what you’re actually trying to accomplish.
And the third one is, break it down into small actionable items that are so simple that if you read it to somebody, they would know exactly what to do.
Julie Swan | 41:03
Makes sense. That’s perfect. Yeah.
And that really does help. And I have noticed that when I have resistance to doing something like in that first place, sometimes there’s like stories, like I’m going to build my website and it’s going to look stupid, or I’m going to put all this effort in and nothing’s going to happen, or I’m going to do this Facebook post and never sell a puppy. And now I’m just going to have puppies until they’re forever old.
My husband’s going to hate me. You know, I just think we have these crazy beliefs around them. It is kind of silly, but they happen.
NJ Shelsby | 41:35
I mean, I don’t think it’s really silly. I think it’s just a condition of the human mind. And we do make up stories that we, you know, our brain is trying to protect us.
Your brain doesn’t want your husband to be mad at you. And so it’s going to say like, Oh, you know, don’t be having all these puppies. So I think it’s just about knowing what the story is that your brain is telling you, saying, Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate that you’re there looking out for me and trying to protect me. I’ve got this handled.
This is what we’re going to do, I’ve got a plan, and I’m going to get rid of the puppies, and my husband’s not going to be mad. But I appreciate you trying to protect me. And it’s so much easier doing that than resisting.
Because if you just try to shove it away, it keeps coming back. But when you acknowledge it, it’s this weird thing that it’s like, Oh, okay, she’s got this.
Julie Swan | 42:40
Mm hmm. Yeah, it’s true. I know, when you sit with it for a second, it kind of dissipates.
It’s very interesting.
NJ Shelsby | 42:46
Yeah, yeah.
Julie Swan | 42:47
Well, thank you so much for explaining it.
And thanks for coming on the show. I know we’re going to dive into more techniques here for the MasterClass for the Dog Breeder Society. But first, tell everyone where they can learn more about you, your business.
NJ Shelsby | 42:59
And you can find me at njshelsby.com. And I’m also on Facebook, NJ Shelsby. Instagram, not a whole lot, @njshel. And so I look forward to, you know, hear from some of you guys, just, you know, reach out, let me know that you heard of me through Julie. And I’d love to hear what’s going on with you and your business.
Julie Swan | 43:28
Yeah, you were so helpful in talking to me just a couple weeks ago, I’ve seen turn around. So thank you so much.
NJ Shelsby | 43:34
My pleasure.
