I love that stores are closed on Christmas Day—it forces you to not go anywhere and not do anything. My favorite thing to do on Christmas is sit with the family, enjoy our new gifts, while we talk and share stories. Yet, as it always goes, when I have too much time to sit and think while spending time with family, void of the normal distractions usually plaguing life, I invariably think about my life and what it is or isn’t.
When we are younger we often dream of what our future will be like, how we’ll marry a guy who looks like Brad Pitt, has a great job, is a perfect husband and father, we never disagree, and he adores me and the kids, and we’ll love our job—whatever it ends up being. This is the beautiful ideal … that is hardly ever the truth. First off, life would be boring if it were perfect, but, as that ideal sits there, it can taunt us. But instead of making it a painful thing, I like to think of it as a helpful mirror, giving us a lens to look at the world we’ve created for ourselves and see what’s missing or what’s gotten off track.
I remember when my ex and I were running the gun shop, we were so broke and strung out. I remember thinking to myself, “I have a business degree, I’m good with money, there’s no reason I should be struggling like this, I work so hard and have nothing to show. My kids deserve better.” And they did. They were dragged along for the ride: the long days, sharing mom with customers, and often mismatched outfits because it’s hard to see what you have when you’re living out of the dryer. I was embarrassed. I was better than this.
When you’re endlessly busy, it’s easier to push this stuff to the side and not think about it. Then Christmas comes. Everything stops. And you’re forced to confront it.
As you know by now, breeding was the thing that pulled me out of the muck. The thing that helped me be a better mom, more present and available, while being able to finally buy what I wanted for my kids, giving them more of the life I envisioned to have with them. Christmas reflections are now enjoyable instead of agonizing.
Is dog breeding the bringer of good things for you and your family?
It brings me so much joy when I speak with breeders and they tell me that the gifts under the Christmas tree came from dog breeding. Others tell me they were able to buy school clothes for their kids, pay for a better school, or take a few family vacations. Many breeders have gotten out of debt, they’ve bought a nicer home, and a few have even paid off their homes. These are just a few examples of how the breeding program can be the bringer of good things. There are many.
Simultaneously, I’ve never met a breeder who was being honest with themselves and said, “I have it all figured out.” There is always something to improve, something that isn’t quite how you want it. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s feedback; it gives you direction. It’s your compass.
Having the breeding business be the bringer of good things is not simply about money; it’s about the breeding program being sustainable, stable, and, most importantly, supportive of the life you want to live. It should help close the gap between your life and the dream life you envisioned being married to Brad Pitt. I’m sorry, Brad, I have Bill, so you’ll need to move on.
The good things don’t have to simply be money—although that helps. They can be more time with your family, giving you the ability to exit a job that takes you out of the home, or maybe it’s about the freedom to travel because you don’t have to save your vacation days, you simply take them. Not worrying about vacation days may simply be my favorite part of working for myself.
Further, wanting your dog breeding program to provide the life you want is not a conflict of interest; it certainly doesn’t make you a bad breeder like many of the Facebook groups would suggest. Instead, it simply means you’re designing your life and business to work together. That’s sustainable, not wrong.
As I was brainstorming the outline of this episode with Bash, my ChatGPT, he said, “Struggle is not proof of integrity.” And I love that sentence because it’s true. I don’t want you to be a martyr for your program; that’s a great way to kill your breeding program and resent your life. No thanks.
Yet, it’s very plausible that part of you harbors some resentment for your breeding program. I remember, before my facilities, that management was so complicated that even leaving for a single overnight out of town felt impossible. I was in such need of money back in the day that I couldn’t afford to skip litters. But, now that my life is more stable and my price has increased, I do understand the drive to skip a litter here or there to free up time on your schedule.
If you’re feeling resentful of your breeding program, don’t beat yourself up. It happens. It doesn’t say anything about you as a breeder, maybe other than that you’re human. However, it does give you a clue that things aren’t where they need to be—and that’s the information that’s useful.
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Where Isn’t Your Program Working?
Now it’s time for the gut check. How are things going in your breeding program? The year is wrapping up, but it’s still fresh, so answer these questions in your mind and take note of the first thing that comes to mind; that’s often your gut instinct kicking in.
What did dog breeding give you this year?
Did it give you income? The ability to have more flexibility in your schedule? Did it bring a smile to your face when people picked up your puppies to take them home? Did you amaze yourself with the puppies you produced?
What did dog breeding cost you this year?
Did you pass on a vacation because your dogs were having puppies and you couldn’t leave? Did you choose to stay home for Christmas again because the dogs were too complicated to find a sitter for? Did you spend some of your own money? Did it cause fights with your spouse? Did it cut into time with family? Late nights up not sleeping? Additional stress when you couldn’t sell puppies?
Does it feel in balance? A net positive? A negative?
I can’t tell you what makes the price of your breeding program too high that it isn’t worth it. I don’t know the tipping point where it’s worth it for you. In fairness, that might change over time, anyways. What I can ask is this:
- Did it feel in balance?
- Did it feel worth it?
I don’t expect your mama dogs to breed themselves, sell your puppies for you, and then hand you the money … that would be a little ridiculous. Breeding isn’t an industry that magically makes money without work, but the work that you put in should feel worth it for the benefit you received.
For example, did you feel incredible after sending your litters home? Knowing that those pups went to great homes, you’re looking forward to seeing how they’ll turn out. You love your buyers, and you’re happy to receive payment in exchange for these incredible dogs you’re producing, glad they helped put those Christmas gifts under the tree?
Or maybe you’re on the other side of things. Maybe the first thing that comes to mind is how many nights you woke up in a cold sweat at 3 am because your puppies were turning 10 weeks and you still had a few to sell. Maybe your spouse is starting to give you the ultimatums, “This has to start working or these dogs have got to go!”
Maybe you were in the middle somewhere. It worked, you sold your puppies, but it was a bit more work, and you had a few buyers you weren’t thrilled about when you met them in person. Maybe one litter went a little sideways and cost extra time and money. Maybe you made it all happen, but it feels like running on a hamster wheel, never catching a break.
If you feel like you’re living life in your breeding program carrying a fire extinguisher trying to put out fires left and right, then maybe that scale is tipping a little negatively. Don’t feel bad, this is VERY common. It doesn’t mean it’s time to quit or that you’re wrong. It just means you haven’t found the right way to do that part of your business yet. That’s pretty normal, especially in as dynamic a business as breeding.
What I want to share with you is that there really is a way. So, if you’re beating yourself up over the progress—or lack of progress—you made this past year, chances are you just haven’t figured out the way it works for you and your breeding program.
In all the breeders I’ve worked with, I’ve yet to meet two who ran their breeding program the same way. You know what that means? It doesn’t mean that everyone is doing it wrong, it means that breeding requires a custom approach to success. What works for you, your dogs, and your buyers will invariably be a bit different than what works for another breeder.
That’s okay, that’s how it works! This is why my goal is always to show you the options, the opportunities that exist, and the boundaries to stay within for standards so that you maintain integrity in your program, while finding your custom approach.
Lastly, don’t forget to enjoy the journey along the way. It’s fun when we can maintain the right perspective. Next week we’ll kick off the year to a great start with some tips and tricks for the new breeding world, and how to set goals that will set you up for success in the ever-evolving dog breeding world.
Thank you for joining me for another episode of the Honest Dog Breeder Podcast, with me, your host, Julie Swan. Honest dog breeders are the future of dogs’ quality of life — and I’m grateful you’re one of them. Can’t wait to see you in the next episode!
